Wala Lang: January 2008

Take Laughter Seriously. In one book that I read, it says: "the older we become, the more serious we become about life. An adult laughs an average of 15 times a day; a preschooler laughs an average of 400 times." Imagine that! This year, let us laugh more often. Wala Lang.

***

Sarcasm. I was eating lunch at a Japanese restaurant with a friend of mine one day. We talked about the meal, how I should not place chopsticks on a rice bowl the way I did, how I felt sick after eating my first sushi the other day, and eventually about sarcasm.

"Do you know that sarcasm is the lowest form of humor?" he told me.

I replied, "I thought it was the highest."

Wala Lang.

***

Why it's Sometimes Good to Have a Bad Memory. I have a very good short term memory and a very bad long term memory. I can remember a long list of Republic Acts when cramming for an exam I forgot about. I often forget birthdates (yes, there came a time when I even forgot mine) and I have a tendency to forget what year it is. Imagine me signing a form and wrote that it was the year 1996 when in fact it was the year 2007 (the second time during the same year though, I have improved a bit since I mistakenly thought it was the year 2005).

I did wish to have a good memory. Besides praying religiously for my wish to come true, I also took vitamins, avoided sleeping late, and began exercising. But then I realized that having a bad memory is not really that bad at all. According to Rita Mae Brown, "the key to happiness is a bad memory". We are just not aware of it, but there are things that our system does to enable us to survive. Just imagine if we remembered every detail of our traumatic experiences... how we made our way out of our mother's womb or how painful our first vaccine was or what other kids did to bully you in class or what an envious co-worker said to destroy your credentials or the way your dad punched your mom in the face or the day when the person you love kissed somebody else.

I may forget a lot of things -- but as long as I remember the meaning and depth of my life experiences, I think I'll be just fine. Ain't that right?

Wala Lang.

***

Finding Gold in Trash. I am sure that most of us have keepsakes reserved in our spirits, if not in our old carton boxes. These are the souvenirs that we take a look at once in a while before taking another step forward in life.

The most sentimental member of my family is me. My mom and sisters would keep perfume bottles and watches while I keep McDonald's French fries cartons, short notes or letters from friends, receipts and tickets, Belgian chocolate wrappers, old high school projects -- all of which are basically considered "trash" (meaning: discarded material) by a normal human being. It may be hard to understand but the "junk" which I have been keeping are, for me, the simple treasures of my life. In each piece are memories where I find joy. In each piece are victorious moments... tasks accomplished... places reached... dreams fulfilled.

It is not important for others to understand why these things become my source of strength as we all have our own secret language that only the "self" would understand. It is interesting how there are the things that would mean something to one person but would mean nothing to another. It feels incredible to carry on with a few keepsakes in our hearts. It is amazing how we could find gold in "trash". Wala Lang.

***

My Most Embarrassing Moment. I thought that my most embarrassing moment was when I once said that Steven Spielberg was the director of Star Wars but I was wrong. It was when I kept a crowd waiting for 15 minutes for the simple reason of miscalculating my travel time. I don't remember being late for most of the most important meetings of my life. Because of my "military" upbringing, I usually arrive earlier than expected. But then there I was at the chapel, the priest waiting... the kids waiting... the audience... the choir... my best friend... Nope, I wasn't late for my own wedding -- I was actually late for a choral singing competition of which I am one of the judges.

How many times have we disappointed other people and told ourselves, "if only I could turn back time..."?

No matter how hard we try, everything in our lives won't go perfectly well. There are elements present in our lives that we cannot control. In my case, I had no other choice but to admit I have made a mistake, remove my feeling of guilt, and do what I was tasked to do. The participants were splendid, the priest kept smiling, my best friend (the organizer of the event) offered me a meal, and the audience (including me) had a really good time. Life does go on after each embarrassing moment. Thank God for that.

Wala Lang.

"Wala Lang" 1st ed.: English translation

Kung ikaw ay Pinoy, basahin mo na lamang ang Tagalog version ng "Wala Lang". Pero kung ikaw ay hindi marunong mag-Tagalog, heto ang English translation. Pasensya na sa English ko ha.

For non-Tagalog readers, here's the English translation of the first edition of "Wala Lang". For non-English readers, kindly click on the translation widget. Thank you.

“Wala Lang.” Whether we admit it or not, we Filipinos do not like confrontation because we are emotionally sensitive and insecure. It is better for us to keep things to ourselves and stay quiet instead of speaking out. Because of the force of evolution, our ancestors (like Piolo Pascual, or probably those who existed earlier) were able to come up with a discreet way of expressing their feelings without getting hurt. The phrase “wala lang” (wala= none, lang= just/only, wala lang= nothing) is uttered at the end of a statement.

I started to write “Wala Lang” out of my desire to post comments on selected articles found on the Siyanga Naman blog by Monsignor Ruben Dimaculangan. My high regard for Monsi’s writings made me feel that my comments are not worth to be posted. Because of this, I included the phrase “wala lang” at the end of each comment I made to express the following message: “This comment is from me, someone with a simple mind, but here I am, giving my personal insights. Read me.”

To continue my story about the short history of “Wala Lang”…

One day, when I woke up from a beautiful dream, I decided to write more seriously (write more seriously=write longer than one sentence). So here is the first edition of “Wala Lang”. I hope you will like it and acquire little wisdom from it.



Nanny Diaries. “Nanny Diaries” is not a story of a girl during the time of Hitler just like Ann Frank. This is about a fictional character named Annie Braddock. She turned down her mother’s ambition for her to be able to work in a firm in the field of finance. Instead, she chose to work as a nanny in the Upper East Side of New York. The part that I will never forget was when her best friend Lynette delivered the words: “You know the path of least resistance? Sometimes they can lead to a minefield.”

Many of us evade the dirt road. We become afraid whenever we become vulnerable. It doesn’t matter if we miss an opportunity as long as we don’t stumble and get hurt. Is it right to manifest this kind of attitude towards life? I think not. Let us do things with our utmost abilities and learn to trust in God’s plan for us. As stated in Psalms 56:11-12, “God I praise your promise; in you I trust, I do not fear. What can mere mortals do to me?”

Let us not get too busy searching for the path of least resistance. Let us accept the road that God is offering us for, in our obedience, we will be transformed. This renewal will give us the satisfaction that is beyond compare to any wealth in the world. Wala lang.



Parallel Synchronized Randomness. The term Parallel Synchronized Randomness (PSR) was mentioned in an interesting film called ‘Science of Sleep’. PSR occurs when two people who do not know each other comes up with the same decision at the same time. Just like what happens when we end up dancing ‘cha cha’ to those whom we bump into on the streets.

Two people walking. They meet face to face. They collide.
Both will step to the side. One will go to the left, and one will go to the right.
They will look at each other. And realize they are still on each other’s way.
Again they will make a step.
Still they are face to face.
The process will repeat itself again and again. Again and again.

PSR is interesting because the process is a bit like when we meet someone we feel comfortable with. Two strangers will bump onto each other. They will make a decision at the same moment and their decision is parallel to the decision of the other until they are unable to part from each other.

But PSR moments do not go on forever just as we cannot keep the special people whom we have discovered. In life, each person will find a way to go on walking and reach their intended destination. It also happens rarely, so we have to savor our “PSR moments”. Let us learn to value the people we meet and learn to cherish the times we spend with the special people in our lives. Wala lang.



Solitaire. One night, I thought about playing the game of solitaire installed in my pocket PC. Before I started playing, I began thinking about my deceased grandmother who likes playing this card game. Before she starts a game, she would silently think of one wish. If she wins a game, it would mean that her wish would be granted. That night when I played the game, I didn’t think of a wish before each game. Instead, I thought of one question per game. The mechanics goes as: if I will win a game means the answer to my question is a YES, if I lose a game it means that the answer to my question is a NO.

Questions like: “Will I pass the board exam?” and “Does [censored] love me?” played on my mind. I lost. Every game I lost. And because of this, I ended up with more questions… hoping I will win. But I lost every game.

Sometimes because of the uncertainty of life, we are able to do things that no sane person would ever do. What I did was silly. The YES and NO’s of life should not depend on the game of solitaire. Before I let go of my pocket PC, I thought about asking one last question. “Pampalubag loob [Just to make myself feel better]" I said to myself. I won. At last, the answer was YES.”

Oh by the way, the last question I asked was: “Does God love me?”

Wala lang.



Prof. Flatulence. [I wasn’t around when this happened, but this is based on a true event.] One of the unforgettable stories my schoolmates told me in high school is the one about our teacher who farted while giving a lecture. After releasing the lethal gas from his system, he turned and told the class, “I’m okay. I’m okay.”

I would laugh every time I remember this story. But there exists two moral lessons in this story. First, when we bother or hurt others, the right thing to say is, “I’m sorry” (Okay when one farts, we all know that “excuse me” is not enough). Second, when we bother or hurt others, the self doesn’t come first. Let us learn to be concerned about others and say, “Are you okay? Are you okay?”

Wala Lang.